Thanksgiving

As you sit down at your tables today, I hope you enjoy your time with family and friends. George Washington was very clear what Thanksgiving was to be about when he made the proclamation in 1789. It was, it IS a time to give thanks to God for all He has done for us. I hope you are able to do that today.

Over the years, Thanksgiving has come to be a celebration that involves a feast of food for most of us. There is nothing wrong with the traditions that we hold near and dear to our hearts. Some of my best family memories were made on Thanksgiving. In your time today, giving thanks, I ask that you remember what Thanksgiving looked like for many who have served.

God Bless our troops and our veterans. Let us strive to make everyday be a day of thanksgiving for what they have done for us.

Alban...

As I ordered our dinner, just me and my two sons, ages 6 and 9, I was thinking, maybe this is too much food. We normally have a fourth mouth to feed, but my wife is out of town. I figured we could probably eat most of anyway. I soon saw two little guys get full very early into our feast. Great. "I think Daddy ordered too much food", I said, as they picked at their chicken. "I think I ordered too much food".

In the meantime, I noticed a guy eating, wearing a US Navy Seal hat. After I asked for a couple of boxes to hold our leftovers, about 15 boneless wings and almost a complete basket of fries, I walked over to him and introduced myself. Thanking him for his service, I pulled out one of my cards and handed it to him. He asked if I was from the VA. I told him no, I just do what I do because he did what he did. It is my way of trying to give something, however small, back to our vets and at least let them know that there is someone who notices and cares. I left with my boys, feeling good, as I always do after meeting one of our nation's veterans.

After we got outside, I noticed, about the same time as my oldest son did, another veteran. Only this one wasn't sitting in an air-conditioned restaurant enjoying an over-priced meal with his wife. He was sitting on the ground. He had a sign next to him indicating that he was not doing so well and would appreciate any help he could get. I looked at him as we walked to our car with a bunch of food that would most likely end up in the trash. My son asked me something to the effect of "why is he sitting there?" I responded with, "I'm not sure, but I'm going to find out".

As I approached him, his head was kind of down. I noticed about 3 dollars in change at the base of his sign. He had his dog tags hanging around his neck. He didn't look like he was in bad shape, but he definitely looked like he had seen better days.

"Hey buddy, how you doing?"
"I'm doing OK I guess"

I nodded, and asked again, "Are you OK?"
"I'm making it"

I knelt down next to him so I could talk eye to eye. I found out that he and his wife had lost everything they had in a fire. She was close to completing some kind of a course that he hoped would allow them to start to pull themselves up. He told me that he didn't like the "homeless scene", as he called it. He was referring to the mass of people that congregate in tent city. He tries to avoid hanging out there as much as possible, but they are forced to live underneath a bridge at the moment. Alban served in the Army for 4 years, I think from 2004-2008 if I remember correctly.

I talked to him for a few minutes and found him to be very genuine. He said he had lost it all before, and fought his way back and was sure he would be able to do so again. I offered him our leftovers, He said he never turns down food. I didn't order too much food after all. The fourth hungry mouth was just in a place I wasn't expecting it to be. I handed Alban one of my cards also. He, too, immediately asked if I was with the VA. When he learned that I just act on my own, he told me how awesome I was. I told him, no, he was awesome, and because he is awesome, I do what I do.

We often rely on the charity of others and help from family just to make ends meet each month. I hate having to do that, but the fact is, that we don't really have much of a choice as things are currently. I have friends that are in a much better position thatn I am in. I don't begrudge that. We all have challenges, some of us just have bigger challenges, or different challenges. Alban has a different set of circumstances than I could imagine myself having. Alban also has it a lot better than some others who are in a similar situation to him. I don't often find myself in a position to actively help someone like this, but when I do, I help.

Alban told me that he would email me when he has he chance to keep me updated on how he is doing. I told him I meet various people that work with vets and although I can't promise anything, maybe, just maybe, something would come of it. I wish I were in a position to just snap my fingers and make problems like his go away. I have very little doubt that when given the opportunity, Alban will grab it and not let go.

It is an absolute shame that so many of our veterans find themselves in this situation. It is an black on on our nation and one that we should do everything possible to alleviate. I think a lot of people are like me, they would genuinely love to be able to do more to help. Often, when faced with a problem of such enormity, we find ourselves unable to grasp how to solve the entire problem at once. Maybe we should step back and look at this particular problem for what it really is. Yes, it is tens of thousands that need help, but it is also one guy, sitting on the sidewalk holding a sign. I can;t so;ve the problem our nation's veterans face, but I can help one guy, even if just in a small way.

If you find yourself in a situation where you are able to help, in any way, don't let it slide by. First and foremost, our veterans are human beings. They deserve to be able to live with dignity. We owe them so much more than a bag full of chicken wings. But for now, if that is what you can offer, do it.

I sincerely hope Alban can keep his head up and fight his way back.

Phil

I walked up to him and asked how he was doing. He responded the way anyone would, "OK". Then I asked again, with a more serious tone, "are you doing OK?" He answered with a more serious tone this time, "yeah, I'm doing alright".

I met Phil today. It wasn't a chance meeting, it was on purpose. I have seen him before, standing on the corner with a cardboard sign that says "Please help. thanx". He wears a copy of his Honorable Discharge around his neck. He wears glasses that he says the VA got for him a while back. He has no teeth. The VA also pays for his prescription. He didn't offer what the prescription was for and I only asked if he was sick, to which he answered, "yes". Several years ago, he had a stroke and was hospitalized for 27 days. He had to learn to walk and talk again. He was in a hydrotherapy program to literally help him get back on his feet. He said he knew if he couldn't learn to walk again, he would be dead sooner than later.

He was in the Army in '56-'57, stationed at Fort Ord California. He made it up to E-3 or Private First Class. At that time, a lot of his fellow soldiers were being deployed to Germany. He felt he had done well but was being passed over for some reason. When he asked his commander, he was told he had the lowest test scores of anyone he had ever seen. Phil had only made it to 5th grade in school. He was brought up on the streets of Seattle. He joined the Army because he heard they paid pretty good. After he was discharged, he thought about joining the Navy, but his wife became pregnant again and that changed his plans. He did manage to take a college course and get his GED at some point after that.

I asked him if I could buy his lunch. He smiled and kind of thought out loud to himself, "I don't know what I could eat"(no teeth). He had a bag on the ground that someone had brought him with a small amount of groceries in it, bananas, cereal and other things like that. At that point, a lady walked up with another bag of food for him. He identified her as "someone who brings me stuff". I asked him if he does OK for himself, as far as being able to get food on a regular basis. He said that he did most of the time.

I asked how he ended up here. He started to say he moved to San Jose and lived here most of his life. I stopped him and said, "no, how did you end up on the street"? He very candidly answered that he made some really bad choices with alcohol and pushed most of his family away because of it. The family goes away, but the bills don't. He ended up drinking away everything he had and lived in his car for a while. He now lives "in the storage yard" up in Milpitis. "They don't have no "hook-ups" for nothing, but it's usually warm at least." I don't know exactly where he stays there, but it is some form of shelter from the cold.

Phil has two daughters, one of them is on speaking terms with him, but apparently offers no help. I don't know any of the story behind that. The other daughter, "is on her mother's side in all this. She feeds her all kinds of bad stuff". I told Phil that I understood strained family relations and one side pitted against the other. I agreed with him that it is a shame when the family disintegrates like that. I didn't go there to make him feel worse, so I quickly changed the subject.

I offered to buy him a coffee to which he readily accepted. I walked to a nearby coffee shop and asked the guy working if someone like Phil walked in, would they allow him to stay. I have seen places that shun homeless people from even entering the establishment and I wanted to ensure this didn't happen to Phil. He was clean and appeared decently taken care of, but having the sign and probably being known as "that homeless guy", I was just making sure he would be welcome. I purchased a coffee and a gift card. The guy gave me the coffee for free because he thought what I was doing was a good gesture. I appreciated that very much. I picked out some condiments, napkins, etc. and walked back to Phil. He thanked me for the coffee and put the other stuff in his pocket. I held out the gift card and told him where he could use it and how much was on it. He was very thankful to me for that.

Phil is very open and honest. He answered everything I asked him without hesitation. We talked for about 20 minutes. In that 20 minutes, one person, other than the grocery lady, even acknowledged him. That was a young girl who simply said "Hi", as her mom drove out of the parking lot. I know it's easy to overlook people in this situation, I have done it countless times, with intent. I fully realize that time is often our self-perceived, most valuable commodity. I don't think I did anything today that really changed Phil's way of life at all. I didn't offer him a way out of his circumstances. I didn't leave him with a place to sleep or new clothes to wear. I think what I did do, was to let him know that someone saw him and cares about him. Maybe that made his day a little brighter.

At 76 years old, chances are, his circumstances will never change. I hope that I'm wrong about that. He will probably live out his days left on this earth much like he is doing right now. He spoke of not being able to go back and change things, just having to start over. For too many people like Phil, I believe "starting over", especially at 76, involves waking up and heading back out on the street to try and survive one more day.

I told Phil if I saw him again and was at all able to, I would sit down with him and have a cup of coffee and talk some more. He let me know that he looked forward to that very much. There are a lot of Phils out there who would love to be able to sit down and talk over a cup of coffee, if only for a few minutes. If you ever get the chance, and want to make someone's day brighter, take the time.

Thank you Phil. Thank you for your service. Thank you for allowing me into your life for a moment.

Homeless...

There were approximately 58.000 Americans killed in the Vietnam War. There are approximately 58,000 U.S. veterans that are homeless on any given night. Let that sink in for a moment. There are as many homeless vets living on our streets as we had die in Vietnam. Here are a few statistics:

13% of the homeless adult population are veterans

20% of the male homeless population are veterans

68% reside in principal cities

32% reside in suburban/rural areas

51% of individual homeless veterans have disabilities

50% have serious mental illness

70% have substance abuse problems

50% are age 51 or older, compared to 19% non-veterans

It should be obvious that we have a problem here. While the cause and solution may be up for debate, there is no doubt, these people need help.

Imagine being told of a veteran who served heroically during wartime, put his life on the line to save another, or many others, and suffered a serious wound in the process. Upon returning home and being hospitalized for many months, he finally was able to begin to learn to walk again, with only one leg. He suffered from chronic pain and often struggled with PTSD just to fall asleep and be awaken by horrid dreams after a couple of hours to start the process all over again. He battled through this for years before being able to overcome it to the point where he could live a relatively normal, productive life. His kids were the stars of the school play and honor students. He served in his church and was a community leader. He set an example for all of those who knew him.

Wouldn't you like to be able to say thanks to this guy?

Now, imagine being told of a veteran who served heroically during wartime, put his life on the line to save another, or many others, and suffered a serious wound in the process. Upon returning home and being hospitalized for many months, he finally was able to begin to learn to walk again, with only one leg. He suffered from chronic pain and often struggled with PTSD just to fall asleep and be awaken by horrid dreams after a couple of hours to start the process all over again. He battled through this for years before succumbing to addiction from the painkillers he was prescribed. His wife could no longer stand the middle of the night screams and sued for divorce. Not being able to support himself because of the disability, he ended up living with friends until they no longer wanted him around. He was forced to live on the streets because he couldn't follow the rules of alcohol and drug use set by the homeless shelter. You pass him every day on your way to work. He looks like a bum and has a sign that says "homeless vet, please help".

...

I know how hard it is to find sympathy for folks "begging" on a street corner. I'm as guilty as anyone. What if the guy didn't go through the scenario above? What if he just liked to party too much and ended up on the street because he made one bad decision after another. What if he was just a scam artist? What if...

What if the next person that came along was just the person he needed to meet to be able to get himself back on track? What if that person was me? What if he were just one day away from giving up completely? What if that were today?

I don't propose to offer solutions. I don't believe there is "a solution". I don't believe everyone wants help or would benefit from it if they did. All I'm trying to do here is maybe shed a little light on a problem many would rather keep in the dark.

My goal is to honor our veterans. If I'm able to help a few in some way, I would be overjoyed. There are a LOT of other organizations and charities out there than can and do offer real help to a lot of people on a regular basis. I am thankful for those and may even try to partner with some of them if the possibility arises. If you are aware of some great organizations that help our vets, please comment here, or on the facebook page. We would love to help spread the word.

It is hard to say thank you to the 58.000 vets living on the streets tonight. It is hard to say it because the words "thank you" seem to fall flat in the light of the circumstances of those that would hear them. None the less, I am grateful for those that served.