Phil

I walked up to him and asked how he was doing. He responded the way anyone would, "OK". Then I asked again, with a more serious tone, "are you doing OK?" He answered with a more serious tone this time, "yeah, I'm doing alright".

I met Phil today. It wasn't a chance meeting, it was on purpose. I have seen him before, standing on the corner with a cardboard sign that says "Please help. thanx". He wears a copy of his Honorable Discharge around his neck. He wears glasses that he says the VA got for him a while back. He has no teeth. The VA also pays for his prescription. He didn't offer what the prescription was for and I only asked if he was sick, to which he answered, "yes". Several years ago, he had a stroke and was hospitalized for 27 days. He had to learn to walk and talk again. He was in a hydrotherapy program to literally help him get back on his feet. He said he knew if he couldn't learn to walk again, he would be dead sooner than later.

He was in the Army in '56-'57, stationed at Fort Ord California. He made it up to E-3 or Private First Class. At that time, a lot of his fellow soldiers were being deployed to Germany. He felt he had done well but was being passed over for some reason. When he asked his commander, he was told he had the lowest test scores of anyone he had ever seen. Phil had only made it to 5th grade in school. He was brought up on the streets of Seattle. He joined the Army because he heard they paid pretty good. After he was discharged, he thought about joining the Navy, but his wife became pregnant again and that changed his plans. He did manage to take a college course and get his GED at some point after that.

I asked him if I could buy his lunch. He smiled and kind of thought out loud to himself, "I don't know what I could eat"(no teeth). He had a bag on the ground that someone had brought him with a small amount of groceries in it, bananas, cereal and other things like that. At that point, a lady walked up with another bag of food for him. He identified her as "someone who brings me stuff". I asked him if he does OK for himself, as far as being able to get food on a regular basis. He said that he did most of the time.

I asked how he ended up here. He started to say he moved to San Jose and lived here most of his life. I stopped him and said, "no, how did you end up on the street"? He very candidly answered that he made some really bad choices with alcohol and pushed most of his family away because of it. The family goes away, but the bills don't. He ended up drinking away everything he had and lived in his car for a while. He now lives "in the storage yard" up in Milpitis. "They don't have no "hook-ups" for nothing, but it's usually warm at least." I don't know exactly where he stays there, but it is some form of shelter from the cold.

Phil has two daughters, one of them is on speaking terms with him, but apparently offers no help. I don't know any of the story behind that. The other daughter, "is on her mother's side in all this. She feeds her all kinds of bad stuff". I told Phil that I understood strained family relations and one side pitted against the other. I agreed with him that it is a shame when the family disintegrates like that. I didn't go there to make him feel worse, so I quickly changed the subject.

I offered to buy him a coffee to which he readily accepted. I walked to a nearby coffee shop and asked the guy working if someone like Phil walked in, would they allow him to stay. I have seen places that shun homeless people from even entering the establishment and I wanted to ensure this didn't happen to Phil. He was clean and appeared decently taken care of, but having the sign and probably being known as "that homeless guy", I was just making sure he would be welcome. I purchased a coffee and a gift card. The guy gave me the coffee for free because he thought what I was doing was a good gesture. I appreciated that very much. I picked out some condiments, napkins, etc. and walked back to Phil. He thanked me for the coffee and put the other stuff in his pocket. I held out the gift card and told him where he could use it and how much was on it. He was very thankful to me for that.

Phil is very open and honest. He answered everything I asked him without hesitation. We talked for about 20 minutes. In that 20 minutes, one person, other than the grocery lady, even acknowledged him. That was a young girl who simply said "Hi", as her mom drove out of the parking lot. I know it's easy to overlook people in this situation, I have done it countless times, with intent. I fully realize that time is often our self-perceived, most valuable commodity. I don't think I did anything today that really changed Phil's way of life at all. I didn't offer him a way out of his circumstances. I didn't leave him with a place to sleep or new clothes to wear. I think what I did do, was to let him know that someone saw him and cares about him. Maybe that made his day a little brighter.

At 76 years old, chances are, his circumstances will never change. I hope that I'm wrong about that. He will probably live out his days left on this earth much like he is doing right now. He spoke of not being able to go back and change things, just having to start over. For too many people like Phil, I believe "starting over", especially at 76, involves waking up and heading back out on the street to try and survive one more day.

I told Phil if I saw him again and was at all able to, I would sit down with him and have a cup of coffee and talk some more. He let me know that he looked forward to that very much. There are a lot of Phils out there who would love to be able to sit down and talk over a cup of coffee, if only for a few minutes. If you ever get the chance, and want to make someone's day brighter, take the time.

Thank you Phil. Thank you for your service. Thank you for allowing me into your life for a moment.

You're a Civilian?

I met a veteran who I'll call Mal. Mal served in the Army SPEC OPS with a PSY OPS unit during the Gulf War. I didn't learn this right away, it was only after talking to him for about a half an hour. It took me a while to ask him what unit he served with because I sensed our conversation needed to move to a point where he trusted me more. It was the second conversation I had with him that say.

During the first brief conversation, I told him about Honor the Veteran and gave him a business card. I told him if he was interested, I would love to feature him in a short piece. He was very adamant that he didn't want to bring attention to himself. Not because of where he served or what he did, just because he didn't see himself as being especially noteworthy or special in some way as to garner recognition. He was very humble. I left him my card anyway.

Later, when we met again, he asked if I had served. When I said no, he seemed somewhat taken aback. He said something to the effect of he didn't understand how a civilian would do something like this. I told him of those in my family that have served, friends, and just a general respect I have for those who have served. He asked what led me to create Honor the Veteran. I explained to him what I've already written about in previous posts here.

We spoke about how veterans are treated by some(which I think is changing for the better), and how the VA is doing a better(yet woefully inadequate in many cases) job at taking care of our returning vets who desperately need help. We spoke about the percentage of Americans who have actually served. We spoke about what he did during his service and some of the realities of war.

A few things he said stuck with me. One of them being that he felt veterans don't really desire sympathy or empathy from civilians, they have more of a desire for us to understand what they go through while they serve and after they serve. This is the hard part. We both agreed that if you haven't been there, you really have no way of understanding what they've gone through. I personally have told veterans, "I know how you feel" and in the same sentence said, "yet I really have no idea how you feel".

I got the feeling that Mal has come into contact with some less than thankful civilians regarding his service. He didn't seem bitter about it, he was just being honest in his assessment of his experiences. He was a very pleasant man to talk to but really opened my eyes up to something very sad. There are, in these current times of society being more appreciative, still a lot of veterans who feel ignored, not appreciated, or even treated poorly by society in general.

You've seen the phrase, "All gave some, some gave all", referring to the sacrifices that our military patriots have made in service to our country. We need to keep this in mind. You don't serve without "giving some". Some part of you is sacrificed. You may come back worse for wear or you may come back a better person, but you won;t come back the same. Some won't come back at all.

I've also recently seen a phrase that I'm at odds with. It says, "Thank you is no longer enough". While I agree that we should be more giving, more helpful and try to be as supportive as possible in any way we can to our veterans, I also believe that "thank you" is sometimes all we have at our disposal. It may not be enough, but it is at least a start. We need to be mindful of the first phrase more often when we meet a veteran so that we can "at least start" to thank them for what they have given, for what they have gone through, and for what they left on the battlefields and in the barracks all over the world.

"You're a civilian?" Yes Mal, I'm a civilian. A civilian who is trying to understand and who is extremely thankful for you and what you've done.

We should strive, through our actions and interactions, to come to a place where veterans will not be surprised by our thankfulness.

Homeless...

There were approximately 58.000 Americans killed in the Vietnam War. There are approximately 58,000 U.S. veterans that are homeless on any given night. Let that sink in for a moment. There are as many homeless vets living on our streets as we had die in Vietnam. Here are a few statistics:

13% of the homeless adult population are veterans

20% of the male homeless population are veterans

68% reside in principal cities

32% reside in suburban/rural areas

51% of individual homeless veterans have disabilities

50% have serious mental illness

70% have substance abuse problems

50% are age 51 or older, compared to 19% non-veterans

It should be obvious that we have a problem here. While the cause and solution may be up for debate, there is no doubt, these people need help.

Imagine being told of a veteran who served heroically during wartime, put his life on the line to save another, or many others, and suffered a serious wound in the process. Upon returning home and being hospitalized for many months, he finally was able to begin to learn to walk again, with only one leg. He suffered from chronic pain and often struggled with PTSD just to fall asleep and be awaken by horrid dreams after a couple of hours to start the process all over again. He battled through this for years before being able to overcome it to the point where he could live a relatively normal, productive life. His kids were the stars of the school play and honor students. He served in his church and was a community leader. He set an example for all of those who knew him.

Wouldn't you like to be able to say thanks to this guy?

Now, imagine being told of a veteran who served heroically during wartime, put his life on the line to save another, or many others, and suffered a serious wound in the process. Upon returning home and being hospitalized for many months, he finally was able to begin to learn to walk again, with only one leg. He suffered from chronic pain and often struggled with PTSD just to fall asleep and be awaken by horrid dreams after a couple of hours to start the process all over again. He battled through this for years before succumbing to addiction from the painkillers he was prescribed. His wife could no longer stand the middle of the night screams and sued for divorce. Not being able to support himself because of the disability, he ended up living with friends until they no longer wanted him around. He was forced to live on the streets because he couldn't follow the rules of alcohol and drug use set by the homeless shelter. You pass him every day on your way to work. He looks like a bum and has a sign that says "homeless vet, please help".

...

I know how hard it is to find sympathy for folks "begging" on a street corner. I'm as guilty as anyone. What if the guy didn't go through the scenario above? What if he just liked to party too much and ended up on the street because he made one bad decision after another. What if he was just a scam artist? What if...

What if the next person that came along was just the person he needed to meet to be able to get himself back on track? What if that person was me? What if he were just one day away from giving up completely? What if that were today?

I don't propose to offer solutions. I don't believe there is "a solution". I don't believe everyone wants help or would benefit from it if they did. All I'm trying to do here is maybe shed a little light on a problem many would rather keep in the dark.

My goal is to honor our veterans. If I'm able to help a few in some way, I would be overjoyed. There are a LOT of other organizations and charities out there than can and do offer real help to a lot of people on a regular basis. I am thankful for those and may even try to partner with some of them if the possibility arises. If you are aware of some great organizations that help our vets, please comment here, or on the facebook page. We would love to help spread the word.

It is hard to say thank you to the 58.000 vets living on the streets tonight. It is hard to say it because the words "thank you" seem to fall flat in the light of the circumstances of those that would hear them. None the less, I am grateful for those that served.

Chaplains: Medal of Honor

A few months ago, I read Cold Days in Hell: American POWs in Korea by William C. Latham. One of the POW's featured was a man name Emil Kapaun, a Roman Catholic priest. His story intrigued me quite a bit and after doing some further research, I learned he had been awarded the Medal of Honor for his actions in the POW camp in North Korea. The man was truly a blessing to those around him in some of the most harsh conditions ever faced by our men.

His Medal of Honor citation reads:

Chaplain Emil J. Kapaun, while assigned to Headquarters Company, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 1st Cavalry Division, distinguished himself by extraordinary heroism, patriotism, and selfless service between Nov. 1-2, 1950. During the Battle of Unsan, Kapaun was serving with the 3rd Battalion of the 8th Cavalry Regiment. As Chinese Communist forces encircled the battalion, Kapaun moved fearlessly from foxhole to foxhole under direct enemy fire in order to provide comfort and reassurance to the outnumbered Soldiers. He repeatedly exposed himself to enemy fire to recover wounded men, dragging them to safety. When he couldn't drag them, he dug shallow trenches to shield them from enemy fire. As Chinese forces closed in, Kapaun rejected several chances to escape, instead volunteering to stay behind and care for the wounded. He was taken as a prisoner of war by Chinese forces on Nov. 2, 1950.After he was captured, Kapaun and other prisoners were marched for several days northward toward prisoner-of-war camps. During the march Kapaun led by example in caring for injured Soldiers, refusing to take a break from carrying the stretchers of the wounded while encouraging others to do their part.Once inside the dismal prison camps, Kapaun risked his life by sneaking around the camp after dark, foraging for food, caring for the sick, and encouraging his fellow Soldiers to sustain their faith and their humanity. On at least one occasion, he was brutally punished for his disobedience, being forced to sit outside in subzero weather without any garments. When the Chinese instituted a mandatory re-education program, Kapaun patiently and politely rejected every theory put forth by the instructors. Later, Kapaun openly flouted his captors by conducting a sunrise service on Easter morning, 1951.When Kapaun began to suffer from the physical toll of his captivity, the Chinese transferred him to a filthy, unheated hospital where he died alone. As he was being carried to the hospital, he asked God's forgiveness for his captors, and made his fellow prisoners promise to keep their faith. Chaplain Kapaun died in captivity on May 23, 1951.Chaplain Emil J. Kapaun repeatedly risked his own life to save the lives of hundreds of fellow Americans. His extraordinary courage, faith and leadership inspired thousands of prisoners to survive hellish conditions, resist enemy indoctrination, and retain their faith in God and country. His actions reflect the utmost credit upon him, the 1st Cavalry Division, and the United States Army.

As I was learning more about him, I also learned of a man named Joseph O' Callahan. He was also a chaplain. He served a few years earlier during World War 2. Like Capaun, he was awarded the Medal of Honor. His medal coming as a result of his actions during an attack on the USS Franklin, where he had only been stationed for 17 days when a Japanese pilot dropped 2 bombs on it. His citation reads:

For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as chaplain on board the U.S.S. Franklin when that vessel was fiercely attacked by enemy Japanese aircraft during offensive operations near Kobe, Japan, on 19 March 1945. A valiant and forceful leader, calmly braving the perilous barriers of flame and twisted metal to aid his men and his ship, Lt. Comdr. O'Callahan groped his way through smoke-filled corridors to the open flight deck and into the midst of violently exploding bombs, shells, rockets, and other armament. With the ship rocked by incessant explosions, with debris and fragments raining down and fires raging in ever-increasing fury, he ministered to the wounded and dying, comforting and encouraging men of all faiths; he organized and led firefighting crews into the blazing inferno on the flight deck; he directed the jettisoning of live ammunition and the flooding of the magazine; he manned a hose to cool hot, armed bombs rolling dangerously on the listing deck, continuing his efforts, despite searing, suffocating smoke which forced men to fall back gasping and imperiled others who replaced them. Serving with courage, fortitude, and deep spiritual strength, Lt. Cmdr. O'Callahan inspired the gallant officers and men of the Franklin to fight heroically and with profound faith in the face of almost certain death and to return their stricken ship to port. 

I wanted to highlight their service here after meeting a veteran chaplain just a few days ago. When I did a quick search, I found out that there have been 3 other chaplains that have been awarded the Medal of Honor. Angelo Liteky for his actions in Vietnam, Charles Watters, for his actions in Vietnam, and Vincent Capodanno for his actions in Vietnam. All five of these men went above and beyond the call of duty, saved many lives and probably, during the course of their work as chaplains did some things that helped countless men survive these wars with a hope that went far beyond just surviving.

These are just five men. I have no doubt that there have been thousands who have served in this capacity. I have read stories of some of the most hardened warriors who were humbled by the words and deeds of these special veterans. There is a saying, "there are no atheists in foxholes". I don't know of the accuracy of that saying, but I am sure that many have need of the services of our Armed Forces chaplains. Thank God that they are there and willing to serve, not only God, but also alongside their fellow men and women in uniform.

UPDATE

I have since learned of 4 more chaplians who served during the Civil War that were awarded the Medal, they are:

John Milton Whitehead (Chaplain, U.S. Army, 15th Indiana Infantry); Francis Bloodgood Hall (Chaplain, U.S. Army, 16th New York Infantry); James Hill (1st Lieutenant, U.S. Army, Company I, 21st Iowa Infantry); and Milton Lorenzo Haney (Regimental Chaplain, U.S. Army, 55th Illinois Infantry)