You're a Civilian?

I met a veteran who I'll call Mal. Mal served in the Army SPEC OPS with a PSY OPS unit during the Gulf War. I didn't learn this right away, it was only after talking to him for about a half an hour. It took me a while to ask him what unit he served with because I sensed our conversation needed to move to a point where he trusted me more. It was the second conversation I had with him that say.

During the first brief conversation, I told him about Honor the Veteran and gave him a business card. I told him if he was interested, I would love to feature him in a short piece. He was very adamant that he didn't want to bring attention to himself. Not because of where he served or what he did, just because he didn't see himself as being especially noteworthy or special in some way as to garner recognition. He was very humble. I left him my card anyway.

Later, when we met again, he asked if I had served. When I said no, he seemed somewhat taken aback. He said something to the effect of he didn't understand how a civilian would do something like this. I told him of those in my family that have served, friends, and just a general respect I have for those who have served. He asked what led me to create Honor the Veteran. I explained to him what I've already written about in previous posts here.

We spoke about how veterans are treated by some(which I think is changing for the better), and how the VA is doing a better(yet woefully inadequate in many cases) job at taking care of our returning vets who desperately need help. We spoke about the percentage of Americans who have actually served. We spoke about what he did during his service and some of the realities of war.

A few things he said stuck with me. One of them being that he felt veterans don't really desire sympathy or empathy from civilians, they have more of a desire for us to understand what they go through while they serve and after they serve. This is the hard part. We both agreed that if you haven't been there, you really have no way of understanding what they've gone through. I personally have told veterans, "I know how you feel" and in the same sentence said, "yet I really have no idea how you feel".

I got the feeling that Mal has come into contact with some less than thankful civilians regarding his service. He didn't seem bitter about it, he was just being honest in his assessment of his experiences. He was a very pleasant man to talk to but really opened my eyes up to something very sad. There are, in these current times of society being more appreciative, still a lot of veterans who feel ignored, not appreciated, or even treated poorly by society in general.

You've seen the phrase, "All gave some, some gave all", referring to the sacrifices that our military patriots have made in service to our country. We need to keep this in mind. You don't serve without "giving some". Some part of you is sacrificed. You may come back worse for wear or you may come back a better person, but you won;t come back the same. Some won't come back at all.

I've also recently seen a phrase that I'm at odds with. It says, "Thank you is no longer enough". While I agree that we should be more giving, more helpful and try to be as supportive as possible in any way we can to our veterans, I also believe that "thank you" is sometimes all we have at our disposal. It may not be enough, but it is at least a start. We need to be mindful of the first phrase more often when we meet a veteran so that we can "at least start" to thank them for what they have given, for what they have gone through, and for what they left on the battlefields and in the barracks all over the world.

"You're a civilian?" Yes Mal, I'm a civilian. A civilian who is trying to understand and who is extremely thankful for you and what you've done.

We should strive, through our actions and interactions, to come to a place where veterans will not be surprised by our thankfulness.